


Broken Bottles and Other Life Metaphors

by AndroidTwin (LolaDiBlack)



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (tags to be added), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Human!Friday, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, Obie-Gate will always be a thing that happens, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Slow Build, The Junkyard Gang, Tony Stark Defense Squad, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, War Veteran Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 17:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12587276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LolaDiBlack/pseuds/AndroidTwin
Summary: Breakups suck, finding your ex at a party kissing someone else is not the best way to help with the aftermath but then again life had never really gone as Tony planned.





	Broken Bottles and Other Life Metaphors

**Author's Note:**

> These past few months since signing up, life has thrown me a couple of curveballs, up to and including Hurricane Maria, which left devastation in its wake. I love sharing my stories with all of you which is why I asked to postpone my posting date (and thank you to the admins of the WinterIron Bang for having my back.)
> 
> Now, I thought this year I'd give you something short and sweet and while it hasn't grown to some of my other stories levels of intricate and complicated, this story had some grow too, which is why is broken into 3 pieces.
> 
> To all of you, who had supported me, commented, liked, reblogged or just said hi when I could steal a moment to connect, thank you! I love you!
> 
> To everyone in the Winteriron Discord, you are amazing and thank you for your enthusiasm and love, it means a lot. 
> 
> My forever Bon-bon, [@Arwenxs](https://arwenxs.tumblr.com/) for cheering me on and getting into and editing my docs of doom with glee; I love you! My wonderful [@Mistrstank](http://mistrstank.tumblr.com/) for stepping into this at the last minute with no previous notice, thank you honey!!
> 
> To the fantastic [@Creep](https://creepingsoul.tumblr.com/), this year's bang brought us together and I'm so glad that you are my artist. I love your work and you will get even better than you are now. Thank you for having my back too.
> 
> To all of the amazing artists and authors and readers for sharing your works and enthusiasm. Sometimes reality sucks but coming into these type of spaces has been a breath of fresh air. I wanna keep thanking people but really I'll let you read now...just below this note is the playlist I put together before everything went to sideways.
> 
> Kisses,
> 
> AndroidTwin (Jo)
> 
>  
> 
> [The Playlist (Spotify Version)](https://open.spotify.com/user/jocorcino/playlist/6mCae96AsVMctk9vWRe7Ir?si=7-XvglKkSJyXV0a-cUijMw)
> 
>  
> 
> [The Playlist (YouTube Version)](http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLq7PGCs96r6VzCxiJ1MBYH2H1Hm3haSs-)

 

                                                                                    

* * *

 

The door didn’t even make a sound when it closed. Tony bit his lip until he could taste copper and then applied more pressure; it was no use. His heart hurt more than his lip did, fuck! He should know better by now. People always leave. Always.

 

The sun rises in the East, the saltiest body of water on Earth is the Don Juan Pond and everyone always leaves.

 

He wishes he could muster an ounce of anger, just a smidge. Tony feels nothing but the hollowness that’s been carved inside. _“This was always temporary, Tony. We’re too different to really work outside of this. And this? Is no longer working.”_

 

Tony thought he’d really figured it out this time around; he made the effort and did his best to be vulnerable. Apparently being emotional was the last nail in the coffin. What the fuck? How?

 

The clock read 9:20 AM, as good a time as any to open that bottle of wine he had on reserve for a dinner that was not gonna happen now. _Or ever you fucking dumbass_ , he reminded himself.

 

He let himself fall onto the plush carpet with a defeated sigh - song of the heartbroken - and took the first swig.

 

That knocking was an inconvenience to his well-warranted moping, Tony thought as he blearily took inventory of his state; pathetic and drunk before lunch. Dandy! The door seemed so far away now that he had to go there and remind the person on the other side that he wasn’t home.

“Tony? Open up!” The pounding was infernal and the voice on the other side allowed no nonsense. “Tony, I can hear your ‘In Case of Misery’ Playlist. Open. The. Door!”

 

In truth, it was a feat of scientific mystery how he managed to obey his very annoyed neighbor and open the cursed door - why did he have all those locks anyway? He blinked, focusing on the smattering of freckles that looked utterly fascinating. “Oh, hello Pepper!”

 

His jaw hurt. By Tesla’s Coils his whole body hurt and the wine lied because he could feel it all. Pepper, his neighbor/tenant/friend, stood in front of him with her arms crossed and a disapproving scowl that melted away as she took in the state he was in. “Oh my god, Tony! What happened to you?”

 

Tony tried to smile and reassure her that he was, as always, fine. But the words dried up behind his teeth as he took a deep breath. “I’m-”

 

He was dying, if the pain in his chest was any indication, he was fucking dying! “Pepper.”

 

The sobs came then, no words, just wailing like a wounded beast. She was a miracle of life and genetics, pulling him to the sofa before his knees gave out. “Tony, what’s going on? I...I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.” Her voice had such a soothing lilt and her hands were so gentle, why hadn’t he fallen for Pepper? “Is it Howard?”

 

He shook his head, stirring up the fuzziness of the lying wine and tried his best to explain between the bouts of sobbing, “--and just left!”

 

Through the alcoholic daze, he could make out a complicated expression on Pepper’s face; a mix of anger, sadness and confusion. Tony took a deep breath and then another, trying to stave off the crying. He was better than this, by Newton’s Gravity!

 

“I’m ok, I’m ok.” A breath in, a breath out. “I’m fine. Thank you, Pepper.”

 

She only nodded, a bit dumbfounded. Tony stood and walked to the kitchen area of his open-plan home. Going through the motions of making coffee - he needed to sober up. “Tony?”

 

Breath in, hold and breath out. “Coffee or do you want some tea? I think I can-”

 

Tony braced himself with trembling arms on the counter and shook as another wave of tears wracked his body. Fuck! Would this stop already? “Fuck!”

 

Pepper wrapped her arms around him and he used the touch as a focus point; something to anchor himself. It felt like he was breaking apart from the inside and nothing would ever be better again. So he focused on Pepper around him and cried. “I’m sorry, Tony. I’m so sorry.”

 

That’s when the phone rang. His heavy heart lifted, could it be…? Tony tried his breathing exercises again. _“Goodbye, Tony.”_

 

Whoops, there went that little reprieve. “...I don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen him like this. He was so excited these past few days over your visit and now-”

 

Visit? Honeybear! His sour patch. Tony made grabby hands at Pepper and she put the phone to his ear, very considerate of her. “Rhodey!”

 

He side eyed Pepper as she moved to the coffeemaker and started fixing him a cup. She was a good neighbor/tenant/friend, and when had she turned down the music? “I’m good, Honeybear. Just walked out so nothing- new--fuck!”

 

Rhodey’s leave shouldn’t be tainted by this shit show, fuck! “No- Rhodey, I’ll be--” The fucking crying wouldn’t stop and he needed it to stop so he could reassure his best friend. He really wanted Rhodey with him though.

 

“Will do, see you then. Thanks, Captain Rhodes.” His Pepper-pot was so formal, Rhodey would see to that.

 

After barely drinking half the cup of coffee Pepper had poured him, she said nothing as he curled into a ball and rocked himself to sleep.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

Rhodey arrived as the sun was setting over the city. Pepper was careful not to jostle Tony when she stood to open the door. Captain James Rhodes was still in uniform; poised and pressed, a military issue bag thrown over his shoulder and take-out in his hands.

 

“Good afternoon, Captain.” Pepper greeted him and heard him huff.

 

“None of that now, call me Rhodey.” He requested as she led him inside. Pepper relieved him of the take-out bags and gestured with her head to where Tony still slept. “What happened?”

 

“I don’t know. I came up because the music was blasting and found him completely plastered, crying inconsolably into a bottle of wine.”

 

Rhodey left his bag behind the sofa and took inventory of his sleeping friend; nothing looked out of the ordinary except for the swollen nose. Running his hand through Tony’s hair, he wondered out loud, “Who’s ass should I kick, Tones?”

 

Tony unfurls on the couch to the low murmurs of conversation and the aroma of food, to the feel of a gentle hand on his head and the protective curl of another body. He sniffles and turns.

 

“Hey, Tones.” Rhodey’s voice is pitched low and secretive, letting Tony get a read on his surroundings. Tony smiles and burrows his head in Rhodey’s midriff.

 

“Rhodey!” Comes muffled and infused with genuine joy. Rhodey looks at Pepper, who’s observing with a small smile on her face as Tony clings like a house cat to his friend.

 

“Come on, man. Give me my hug,” Rhodey prods and Tony shakes his head. “I even brought dinner, you brat. Give me my hug!”

 

Tony does, levering his arms on Rhodey’s shoulders to pull himself up and wrapping them around his back when he was finally seated. “I’m glad you’re here, Honey-bear.”

 

“I’m glad to be here, Tony.” A pat on the back and then Rhodey was pulling away. Eyes roving over Tony now that he was awake. “How are you feeling?”

 

He felt Tony tense and shrug, “I’m good, Platypus. Always.”

 

Pepper frowned at the obvious lie, but didn't say anything as she arranged dinner around the coffee table. Rhodey hummed, conveying his disbelief with just a sound.

 

Tony clapped his hands and avoided their eyes. “What’s for dinner, Bunnies? I’m starving!”

 

“I brought from that diner you love so much, ordered you the Cheesiest Cheeseburger.”

 

“Cheeseburger Supreme!?” The astonished gasp made Rhodey’s heart ache a little; Tony was so full of awe and wonder, always so surprised that Rhodey remembered him and cared.

 

“Of course, you raved about that cheeseburger for weeks and swore you’d marry _it’s delicious and handcrafted buns_.”

 

“God, I love you, Honeybunch.” Tony beamed and reached for his plate, freezing mid-way, “You always--”

 

The hitched inhale had Rhodey moving before the sob had fully formed. Tony trembled and pulled his hand over his heart. It felt like that nap had just recharged the pain and now that he was sober, it felt worse. “Rho-- It hurts, Rhodey.”

 

“I’m here, Tony. I’m here, come on.” Rhodey’s voice didn’t wobble and, though Tony was now taller than him, he didn’t hesitate in wrapping him in his arms and letting him cry.

 

Pepper abandoned the armchair and moved to the sofa with laser focus and speed, not touching but close enough that her warmth could be felt. Rhodey nodded to her in gratitude; he knew of Pepper and her fierceness but to see it turned into protecting Tony from his own pain? That one little gesture made her a top notch lady and ally in his books.

 

Their food was cold by the time Tony had calmed enough to remember he was hungry. It took longer to get the full story and by the end of it, Rhodey was too busy taking care of an exhausted Tony to worry about being angry.

“I really thought I’d gotten it right this time around, Rhodey.” Tony confessed as Rhodey tucked him into bed. Tears falling of their own volition.

 

“Not your fault, Tones.” He soothed, because Tony had to know there was nothing wrong with loving people, that sometimes it was bound to hurt and that wasn’t on him. “Sleep, midget.”

 

“Taller than you now.”

 

When Rhodey comes back, Tony has balled up again and the pillow is soaked. He says nothing and curls around him; holding him together to the best of his abilities. Anger can wait.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

The days following come and go in the same way for Tony, the emotional imbalance driving him up a wall. The pain dulls and he can enjoy Rhodey's visit and Pepper's company but anything can set him off and the crying fits are just fucking inconvenient. Even Friday notices.

 

"How are you doing these days, Boss?" Friday is a spunky 17-year-old and another of Tony's tenants. She didn't stand at more than 5'4" and Tony had a soft spot for her and the runt knew it. "I brought you one of those donuts you really like."

 

"Aw, kiddo." He feels the warmth of the gesture soothe some of the edges in the spikes of his skin. "Thank you, but you shouldn't have."

 

"I'm underage, Boss." She says as she shrugs, "They won't even sell me cooking wine. Donut'll have to do."

 

She sneaks in a hug and frolics away. Tears pool in Tony's eyes and he bites into the pastry aggressively. Stupid eyes that won't get the memo. Stupid feelings and stupid him too, godfuckit.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

Carol - a fellow Air Force Pilot - invited Rhodey to a party and his best friend had insisted he would only go if Tony tagged along. _"It's my last weekend before I'm gone again, Tones. Come on, man."_ Tony wanted to refuse - he didn't feel like socializing. He was still picking up pieces of himself. _"Tell you what, come with me and spend an hour. Just the one, then we'll come here and watch nerdy movies with bad science."_ Because this was his Rhodey, he caved.

 

He was ready to go before Rhodey and that was telling. He'd bet a pretty sum that his honey-bear has a crush on this Carol lady; Tony would have to watch their interactions to be sure.

 

"Looking good, Sour Patch," Tony commented as he locked the loft on their way out and saw the telling shuffle/huff combo Rhodey was wont to do when he felt abashed but pleased with his choices.

 

"Don't make it weird." Was the reply and Tony smirked, yep. Rhodey had a crush on the Pilot lady.

 

"I would never, Honey. But I mustn't tell lies."

 

"Nerd." Rhodey snorted like he hadn’t gotten the reference; hypocrite. "Let's go."

 

They talked about anything but feelings on their way over and Tony was grateful for it. The emotional roller-coaster he was going through was more than enough. The party was in full swing with people everywhere but the place was spacious enough that it didn't feel claustrophobic. Most of them looked like military with a handful of civilians to mix; he was one of the latter.

 

"What is this, a bring your civilian other kind of shindig?" Tony leaned conspiratorially into Rhodes to ask, he didn't know who could hear him.

 

Rhodey snorted and tapped his side with an elbow, "Oh fuck off, this is not a super secret party organized by Big Brother."

 

"You never know, Rhodey. That's not your branch anyways." It felt good to joke about absurd shit, time with his best friend was just what he needed.

 

"Rhodes!" They turned at the same time and Rhodey straightened into parade rest as the blonde lady who Tony assumed could only be Carol approached them. "Glad you could make it."

 

"Wouldn't miss it, Danvers," Rhodey smirked and Tony wanted to facepalm. Holy shit! They were flirting! Tony resisted the urge to groan, this was just...Urgh. He settled for elbowing Rhodey lightly. Rhodey started minutely. "Oh, yeah. Danvers, this is my best friend Tony."

 

"Nice to finally meet you, Tony." Carol extended her hand for him, he shook it and almost turned it to lay a kiss on it but resisted; he was such a good friend and Rhodey was a lucky bastard.

 

"I'll presume my honey-bear talks about me? Nice to meet you too, miss Danvers."

 

She laughed at his antics while Rhodey rolled his eyes and pointed like 'See what I have to deal with?' "I've heard a few things here and there and Carol works just fine."

 

"Very well, Carol. I'm here to pilfer your alcohol supply, if you'd be so kind and point the way, I'll get out of your hair." Tony was giving them and himself an out, he loved Rhodey deliriously but he was too old to third wheel. She pointed to the bar; Tony saluted and scurried away as only he could, with a fuckton of swag.

 

Losing himself amongst the crowd while keeping awareness of Rhodey's whereabouts was something he'd learned during their MIT days when he was too little and could, and had, been dwarfed by fellow students.  
  
He grabs the solo cup and snorts before taking a sip of the punch he'd been sorta handed. Not the most expensive but they made it work, crafty people. Tony gazed around, away from Rhodey and Carol's mating dance. They hadn’t gotten there too late for it to be packed nor too early to be deserted. He saw some people moving around with no discernible patterns, others stopping midway to hug a buddy or make introductions. Whoever was in charge of the music had a really eclectic taste.  
  
Tony downed his punch and willed himself to loosen up and feel the beat. Letting the bass echo in his bones and pound in his veins. His cup was filled again and he nodded to the blonde at the bar in thanks before turning back to his appraisal. Months ago, this would have been a fantastic night in the making; he would've flirted his way through all four corners of the place and probably would've picked the most interesting person to go home with. Tonight, it was an effort to be present, to feel grounded. 'This sucks.'  
  
The tears had stopped coming after a week but the hopelessness lingered and the anger was swift and aimed inwards most of the time. Pepper and Rhodey had encouraged him to delete the number he'd been tempted to call more than once in the past weeks and in a fit of too much, Tony had done just that.  
  
His brain remembered though. Friday still came by with something sweet or strange for him to eat, even when he'd assured her it wasn't necessary. She'd plainly stated that she didn't believe him and his smile was too brittle. Tony huffed, Friday would conquer the world one of these days he was sure.

 

But being present seemed to be a chore and he really wanted Rhodey to enjoy his leave, so he took his gloominess to the darkest corner possible, turns out it was by the DJ. Tony might be no sound engineer but he knew that the equipment wouldn't last too long if they kept misusing it that way. Approaching with some caution, Tony attempts to make conversation with the DJ with no result. He sighs and shrugs, well at the very least he tried.

 

The man by the table does a double take and removes the massive headphones. "Hey man!" His tone is friendly and he looks a bit sheepish, "If you tried to say something I didn't hear shit."

 

Tony studies him and opens his mouth to repeat his earlier observation just for the guy, with his ridiculous spiked hair, to lift his hand and stop him. Tony takes a swig of his punch, deciding that the equipment can burst into flames for all he cares. Why the fuck does he care anyway? Now he’s frowning into his drink, great.

 

"Hey!" The man, aka DJ Crappy, is in front of him now, close enough to get his attention but not crowding him. Pointing to himself, "I needed to turn on the aids."

 

Oh...Oh! That explained it then, the man was deaf or hard of hearing and here Tony thought he was being ignored. "How do you do this without hearing?"

 

The man smirks and leans onto the table with the console and a laptop. "The good old vibrations, man."

 

"Well, Markie Mark, your equipment is a bass drop away from pooting on you." Tony points out and the man's expression melts into a pout.

 

"Aw, speakers!" He whines as he caresses the closest speaker. "Man, this sucks."

 

"You need to feel the vibrations, right?" At the man's nod, Tony continued, "Well, if we readjust the frequency and electronic output; they might live for a while longer and you won't have to compromise the quality. It will surely improve it actually."

 

"Are you some kind of tech guru? Also, what's in it for you?" Tony rolled his eyes and the sleeves of his shirt.

 

"You can say that and what's in it for me is preventing the untimely passing of tech and tinnitus from the horrible feedback it'd create." Puttering around the table until he got it right, he smiled at the man with a confident grin. "Try it now."

 

His eyes went wide and the answering grin looked both manic and joyful. "Holy cheese pizza! Man, this is amazing, I can feel everything and whoa, the colors are way sharp!"

 

Tony shrugged, he knew tech, understood it; people had always been trickier. Suddenly a hand was thrust in his face. "I'm Clint, buds from my old unit call me Hawkeye."

 

"Tony," He says as he takes the offered hand, "I'm called many things, depends on who you ask."

 

"Nice!" Clint laughs but points to his table. "If you wanna request anything throughout the night, give me a tap, not a holler and I'll hook you up."

 

"Your frat boy lingo is on point," Tony comments because it takes a smart-ass to sniff out another. Clint motions to his ears and shakes his head. Dick!

 

Eventually, he drifts to the bar again and catches Rhodey by chance. "Saw you chatting up the DJ, Tones."

 

Tony shakes his head. "Just performing my duty as a tech inclined citizen. Having fun with your date?"

 

Rhodey laughs and nudges him, "She is not my date."

 

"Yeah, ok." Tony swipes one of the glasses and smirks, "The badass lady you dragged me over here to see is not your date, Platypus. Totally believe you."

 

"Fuck off and dance."

 

"Not drunk enough." He blows kisses at Rhodey as the man walks back to his ‘non-date’.

 

While the atmosphere had gotten more lively and rambunctious, Tony needs to get out and take a breather; laughter flowing easy and casual touches and inside jokes, chaste kisses and suggestive caresses. He needed to step away for a minute to shake off the loneliness that crept in.

 

He wondered if the misery would ever pass, if the weariness that weighed him down in the mornings would ebb away. He is not reassured, so he sips the cheap punch and wills himself to at least enjoy being out of the apartment. Pepper worried about him becoming a hermit.

 

Not a minute later he wishes for the sky to open up and the Rapture to commence or aliens to invade -he wasn't picky- because life was just fucking cruel. Out on the dance floor, Tony couldn't miss them even if he wanted to, bodies close as the music pounded through the walls and the floor; smiling and seemingly the center of each other's universes. Tony's mangled heart beating underneath his ribs and his lungs too constricted to take a full breath. He clenched his jaw as they shyly kissed and got impossibly closer.

 

Feeling raw and exposed and thankfully out of tears, looking at how happy they were together while he was there in pieces. Tony couldn't look away, couldn't turn and shut out the image in front of him; maybe he was a masochist for doing this to himself. For holding onto a sliver of hope that maybe...

 

'Stupid, you idiot! See? This is why we use our gigantic brain, irrefutable evidence.'

 

Tony needed to get out, get out before they saw him; pathetically breaking apart in the corner of a makeshift bar, while Clint played sad but danceable and fucking accurate music on his tweaked sound system. Where Rhodey was around with someone who was just as infatuated with him as he was with her. They were all fine and Tony just didn't fit here, he couldn't breathe here, he...

 

"Hey pal, you alright?" The voice was low, gruff and really close for any sense of personal space. Tony blinked, realizing with a bit of a start that his eyes itched and the song had changed. He had to make a conscious effort to focus on what, well, who was in front of him. Tony took quick stock; brunette, pale eyes and built like a brick house. Pink lips and stubble.

 

"I- um..." God, he wasn't drunk enough for this shit, he wasn't ready and now there was a good looking and probably well-meaning stranger asking him if he is alright when he is most definitely not. "I think the punch is hitting me, hard."

 

"Ah," the stranger with pretty eyes says as if Tony's feeble excuse is really a valid answer and not some half-assed lie. "That happens when Thor is manning the bar."

 

Tony takes a step back and thankfully the man doesn't follow, he still can't breathe but at least he can't see them anymore either, fuck! Darwin's balls! "Yeah, I should probably get home before it turns against me."

 

The man frowns and takes a look around, "You by yourself here?"

 

Tony wants to say yes, and thank you before disappearing, "My best friend is around, but he is having too much fun. I don't wanna ruin it."

 

“Come on,” The pretty stranger says and doesn’t try to touch Tony. “We’ll find your friend and I’ll keep you company while you wait for a cab.”

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

“I know, but I want to.” He gives Tony a small smile and Tony follows.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

Bucky sees the man come in from the balcony and freeze, his eyes wide and body rigid; looks like he was in the worse kind of pain imaginable. ‘Poor fella,’ he thinks and then follows his line of sight to where Steve and his date are dancing, oblivious to their surroundings. ‘Oh! Poor fella.’

 

The man looks pale and heartbroken, also like he wishes he was anywhere but here and now. Bucky gets that. He’s not a real fan of socializing these days.

 

He approaches, cautiously and telegraphing his movements until they’re face to face. When the man finally notices him, Bucky thinks it’s a real shame that such a handsome man carries so much pain in his eyes. The man starts a bit when Bucky asks him if he’s alright and then gives him the out, because it’s true, Thor is heavy handed with the alcohol.

 

He offers to keep him company because Bucky loathes the idea of something happening to someone so out of it and because he is being a good friend and doesn’t want some misguided soul to ruin Steve’s date.

 

They might not be as close as before but Steve was still his brother and to Bucky he’ll always be the skinny, sickly runt that never backed down from a fight. So he follows the ‘drunk’ man until they come upon a blonde woman and a black man that immediately stands up. “Hey Tony, what’s going on, man?”

 

“I gotta go, too much drink too fast and it’s not agreeing with me.” The man, Tony says and it’s obvious his friend doesn’t believe a word said.

 

“Wanna head out? Let me just--” His friend, and why does Bucky do shit like this, the man- Tony was no defenseless kitten out in the rain and his friend was attuned enough that Bucky could step away but…

 

“No, Rhodey!” Tony puts his hands out to stop his friend, Rhodey, and hastily attempts to redirect his attention. “No, you are staying and having fun. Come on, honey-bear. Enjoy the night out, I’ll get home and sleep it off, promise.”

 

It seems that’s all it takes for Rhodey to resume his position but then his gaze is directed at Bucky and he can’t help but stand at his full height; remnants from his old Army days. “Who are you?”

 

“Oh this is-” Tony tapers off because yeah, no introductions were made.

 

Bucky holds out his hand, “James Barnes, friends call me Bucky anyway. Please to meet ya’.”

 

Rhodey shakes it, “James Rhodes.”

 

There is something in Rhodes’ stare as if he is sizing up Bucky and his intentions and what the fuck? He remembers that he owes nobody an explanation and motions Tony toward the entrance. “Shall we?”

 

Tony nods and gives his friend a shoulder squeeze and kisses the blonde’s hand before basically booking it out the door. “Enjoy your night, I mean it.”

 

Out on the street, Tony looks like he might puke. “Hey, Tony?”

 

The man is shaking, his breathing harsh and sharp and quick. “I should have stayed home! I should have gorged on doughnuts and wine and watched scientifically inaccurate movies.”

 

“Hey man, come on.” Bucky prods, “You can still have that, just gotta catch you a cab and-”

 

“No,” Tony laughs and it’s really painful to hear. “I can’t go home now.”

 

“Wha-”

 

“If I do that, I’ll just put on sad music and probably cry like the pathetic fuck you most likely witnessed me being before offering me an out. If I put on sad music; Pepper would probably get mad about my sadness interfering with her sleep schedule and stab me with a heel. Also...I’m hungry. You hungry? I think I can eat. Do you have any recommendations?”

 

Bucky was a bit baffled by the rambling and the speed in which it took off. Impressive but not something he signed up for. He blinked silently until Tony turned to him.

 

“Oh, right.” He shook his head and his face went eerily blank. “You offered to chaperone me to a cab, probably have people waiting for you and here I’m trying to commandeer your life, wow.”

 

“I-” Bucky took a deep breath and thought that Steve was gonna owe him big. “My best friend is kinda occupied and I could eat.”

 

Tony cocked his head and gave him a big fake smile. “Awesome, mind if we embark on a drunken adventure?”

 

“You’re not drunk.”

 

“Let me, please?” The fragility tugged at his heartstrings and Bucky ceded.

 

“Fine, little drunktart. Lead the way.” He sighed but the spark of curiosity had been ignited and he hasn’t felt curious in a while. What was there to lose?

 

Tony bit his lip, turning one way and then the other. “I’m not from around here, how should I know?”

 

Bucky huffed and crossed his arms, something he avoided these days but this man brought it out in a fit of exasperation, “You are the one propositioning food and adventure and you don’t even know where you are?”

 

He couldn’t believe this but a sheepish shrug had Bucky pulling up Google Maps.

 

“I pick the route, where we eat and you’re paying.” Tony nods and falls into step as they walk away through the darkened streets.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

They find a pizzeria and duck inside, something truly sad stirs inside him at the thought of Italian food, some days he misses home more than others. Bucky had barely said a word but had scowled when Tony slapped his hand away as they were paying for the food.

 

“You guide us and pick the place, I pay. Remember?” It felt easy to be a cheeky smartass, hardly a chore.

 

After scanning the place, Bucky picked a booth close to the door and sat with his back firmly to the wall, he picked his slice and dove in. Tony took a bite of his own and promised himself to never spend this long without a good slice.

 

They demolished a couple of slices in silence and then Bucky struck. “Wanna tell me what made you look like someone took a knife to your puppy and made you watch?”

 

He was gaping like a fish, he knew he was and his first instinct was to deny and run the fuck away. This stranger had read him like he was an ad on Times Square. That was hella unnerving on a normal day, right now when he felt like his nerves were exposed to the elements was even worse.

 

“Look, you don’t owe me shit. Sometimes is easier to unburden on a stranger that has no real weight on your life than on those who know you.” Bucky looked at his plate and then his eyes were pinning Tony in his seat. “It’s just an offer to vent.”

 

“I--” ‘apparently tongue tied by the kindness of pretty strangers.’ He started picking at the napkin as he wondered about what Bucky had said, perhaps… “About three weeks and some days ago, I miscalculated and got my heart thoroughly broken.”

 

Tony watched  him take a bite and nod, no ‘I’m sorry’s’ or any other empty platitude. “It’s not like I have the best track record but at least before, I knew what to expect, this...wow, this kinda blindsided me.”  
  
“That’s love for ya.”  
  
“I guess.” Tony shrugged.  
  
They ate in silence; Bucky thoughtfully, Tony absently until there was nothing but grease. He knew he should just count his blessings and part ways but he dreaded going home.  
  
“What about dessert?” Bucky asked out of the blue, as if he was reading Tony's mind.  
  
“What?”  
  
Bucky side eyed him, “We just had a late late dinner. What about dessert?”  
  
“Doughnuts and coffee?” Tony went for his usual, simple and comforting.  
  
“You’re kinda obsessed with donuts. Has anyone pointed that out?”  
  
“It’s Friday’s fault?”  
  
“Friday?”  
  
“She’s one of my tenants.”  
  
“So you’re a landlord?”  
  
“Amongst other things.”  
  
“Mmm, you look too young to be a landlord.”  
  
“It was a spur of the moment thing.” Tony defended his landlordship. “My friend Pepper-”  
  
“The one with the killer heels.”  
  
“That’s the one.” He smiled a little, “Well, her previous landlord was a dick who was about to raise her rent and the guy wouldn’t even fix a lightbulb so I bought the building. Pepper said I was insane and refused to live there for free: I gave her the Friends & Family Discount though and fixed everything.”  
  
“So handyman?”  
  
“Engineer, actually.” Bucky seemed to perk up with curiosity but only nodded in acknowledgement.

 

Silence between virtual strangers should feel awkward and yet it didn’t. Tony walked beside Bucky with an odd sense of calm he hardly remembers if he’d ever felt it. That easy companionship that didn’t demand anything out of him.

 

They end up getting churros and ice cream; it’s halfway through their desert before the urge creeps on Tony. “We met in Central Park.” He starts, slightly lost in the memory.

 

“One minute I was lost in calculations for a project and the next thing I know, there’s a person beside me on the bench; like it was routine. We started talking and I completely lost notion of what I was doing before then.” Tony pauses and soaks a chunk of his churro in the melting ice cream. “It was great, you know, to… connect. So we talked and hopped on a train, still talking; we argued too with heat but no malice and I loved it. Because I was taught the world favors the bold, I went for a kiss, we just fit.”

 

Tony sighs sorrowfully, slurping the soupy ice cream, as he publically picked at his wounds.  After a moment he continues, “I wanted… to do it properly. The romance; carve a space for them in my life.” When he looks at Bucky, who’s savoring his desert but listening attentively, Tony shrugs with a curl to his lips that doesn’t get to be a smile. “But I guess… yeah.”

 

He’s looking at the empty street of a bustling city, feeling small and lost, he pushes a hand against his chest to stave off the pain, as if it’d help. Then, there’s an arm around his shoulders pulling him into a wall of warmth.

 

“Sorry means nothing when it’s coming from somewhere you don’t want it from.” Bucky’s voice is low and gruff, his words though, taste like experience on that matter. “I can’t apologize for your heartbreak, Tony.”

 

So Tony nods, because he wasn’t looking…

 

Bucky gives him a squeeze and Tony looks up, “I’m sorry you’re hurting though.”

 

It might be the nicest apologetic non-apology he’s ever heard.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

All good things must come to an end; the city was starting to stir again and Bucky saw Tony with his heartbreak wrapped around him like a blanket, with his tragic handsomeness, and was unsure how to proceed.

 

‘I don’t want it to end.’ He thought, feeling honestly reluctant in letting their interaction end as it was. For the first time in a while, Bucky wanted…

 

He dusted off his courage and pulled out his phone, the same new one Sam had pestered him to get and he hardly used, and handed it to Tony. Well, he tried to.

 

Tony’s hands twitched, his expression contrite but before Bucky could show his utter disappointment, he explained, “I… I don’t like being handed things.”

 

“Oh.” Bucky didn’t let it sting, everybody had their neuroses. He saw Tony try to reach before he could put it back.

 

“Text me!”  Tony exclaimed with a jump, pulling out his own phone, something so advanced Bucky’d never seen and he was into tech… somedays. Rattled his digits silver quick and then more slowly when Bucky just quirked an eyebrow at him, fingers still poised to type.

 

He saved the number and sent a text with his own contact info before locking the screen and putting the phone back in his jacket.

 

“Got you now.” Bucky nodded, only to huff with amusement when he saw his name reflected on Tony’s screen with a bear emoji beside it. “Now, I’m Tony-locks.”

 

“Well is time for good Tony-locks’ to hit the bed,” Bucky promptly turned, lest he be tempted to offer tucking the man in, but was unable to walk away with a hand circling his wrist. “Yeah?”

 

“Thank you, Bucky.” The words were low but so heartfelt, he could only nod.

 

“Be safe, Tony.” When the man finally let him go, “Text me when you get home?”

 

“Will do, Mama bear.” Without further ado, Tony said with an impish grin and a jaunty salute, then turning on his heel and walking away. Bucky watched for an instant before doing just the same.

 

45 minutes later, as the new morning bathed New York in sunlight his phone pinged. “ _Home._ ”

 

He gave the screen a small smile, replying with his own: “Home. Goodnight, Tony.”

 

Coincidently, no nightmares followed him.

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

Dawn was biting at his heels when he made it to his loft; stomach full and heart just a little lighter. The guest bedroom untouched, meaning Rhodey was still out- which, good because he deserved it and Tony was still processing. - Bucky had been, well, just what he needed.

 

Speaking of… “Home.” He texted as promised and went to get ready for bed.

 

“ _Home._ ” Was there lighting up his screen when he came back from the bathroom. “ _Goodnight, Tony._ ”

 

Tony smiled and fell asleep with ease.

 

Rhodey turned up around midday with brunch -well, it was breakfast food for lunch, so it counted,- they hanged around the loft for a while before hitting the garage for some wholesome nerding out over machinery.

 

“So, Barnes?” Subtlety thy name was not Rhodes. Tony shrugged and kept tweaking the 1967 Porsche 912’s engine he’d been restoring for months.

 

“What about him?” And maybe Tony missed nonchalance by a mile, but who was keeping score?

 

“He seemed nice.” Rhodey probed while his hands were busy soldering fine cables for an improved piece.

 

Tony stopped and turned on his favorite stool, when Rhodey finally looked at him, rolled his eyes so hard a few neurons waved. “No, he didn’t.”

 

Rhodey shrugged, “No, he didn’t.”

 

“But he was. Nice, I mean.” He twirled the wrench in his hand like a drumstick - as per habit- and pointed it at Rhodey, “He’s a good listener. Carol though, she seemed _nice_.”

 

Almost 20 years of friendship had attuned Tony to Rhodey’s tells and while the man tried to hide his big ass grin -and almost succeeded- his tone gave him up. “Carol is one badass pilot,” he huffed and gave, “and yes, Tony. She’s nice.”

 

“So… I get to give her the Shovel Talk and interrogate her about her intentions with you, Honeybear?” While he’d been less than himself the past several weeks, Tony would never pass up the opportunity to warn anyone about the dire consequences of hurting his Rhodey and the potential embarrassment of his best friend was a nice bonus. “I’ve been practicing, this is my moment.”

 

“Only if you want her to knock some of your perfect teeth loose.” It’s a warning and a plea. For whose sake though?

 

The grin on his face had Rhodey at the verge of face-palming. “I’ll do it on your next leave then.”

 

Something warm unfurls on his chest with Rhodey’s groaned “Tony.”

 

*-_-*-_-*

 

Saying goodbye to Rhodey has always been the hard part when his leave ended, as if a part of himself gets dislodged into the wind. Rhodey goes with the standing promise to call as soon as he can. Tony could only nod into his shoulder as they hugged and if he held on a bit tighter, Rhodey didn’t mention it.

 

Tony knew Pepper would probably indulge him but he felt like he’d intruded way too much since _then_ , she should have time to herself. And besides fattening him up with doughnuts, Friday was busy with school -as per stipulated conditions,- so Tony was debating the pros and cons of ditching his car in the middle of a traffic jam for the subway when he remembered.

 

“Hey.” The text was simple and uncomplicated, something that could be interpreted as the written equivalent of a wave on the street. A conversation opener, mood gauger, and Tony was stalling- pulling on the iron in his bones, he hit sent and melted into his seat.

 

Tony looked at the clock on his dash and the one on his wrist, looked through his mirrors at the others stuck in place just like him, trapped in the confines of their vehicles waiting for the chance to step on the gas and flip someone else off. Tony huffed, irritated with his antsiness and pumped up the volume of the stereo, mouthing along with the lyrics of “Back in Black” and then freezing when his phone buzzes against his thigh.

 

“ _Hey, Tony-locks._ ”

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [i've learned to live (half alive)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12588092) by [CreepingSoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepingSoul/pseuds/CreepingSoul)




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